Avoiding Things

One of the ways most people reduce their anxiety is by simply avoiding their triggers and not placing themselves into anxiety provoking situations. This is what I do, all the freaking time.

Here’s an example. I’ve been going to the same college for the past 3 years, and in that time I have only eaten in the dining hall maybe once or twice because I didn’t know the campus well enough to find a more secluded place yet. In those few times eating up there, I would sit myself down at one of the empty tables, put in my headphones and eat. The room would start getting louder and louder and all the other tables started to fill up with people. By mid-lunch, mine was the only table with a single person sitting there. I felt like everyone was watching me. I felt like I just wasn’t going to fit in and that I should just stop trying. So I decided then and there that the dining hall was just too much of a trigger for me, and I have never gone back.

That’s just one thing that I could add to a very long list of things I tend to avoid. That one is pretty trivial. Going into the dining hall isn’t life or death nor is it necessary to do so since there are smaller, more comfortable places to get food on campus. But it is something that bothers me. There’s this room I can’t bring myself to go into. I walk past it sometimes and peer inside, but I do not go in. Ever.

It’s little things like that that I avoid that get to me after a while. Things that have no rhyme or reason to them but still have some control over my decisions. I guess that’s the thing about anxiety, it affects you in ways you didn’t think it would.

Over and out.

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