When you have anxiety, one of your biggest fears (besides triggering a panic attack) is the fear of missing out, also known as FoMO. I know this, because through my high school years it was always on my mind. I just wasn’t like the other teenagers in my school. I didn’t date, I didn’t go to parties and I didn’t even really hang out with my friends outside of school. I know, I sound pretty pathetic right?
But even though I wasn’t involved in any of these things and turned down invitations that would allow me to be a normal teenager, I still felt bad about the experiences I was missing out on. I always felt like I was going to regret not going to a movie with that friend or not going to the mall with everyone else. Simple things like that, things I just couldn’t bring myself to do, ate away at me.
I would look at my classmates Facebook pages and see all the fun they were having and how easy it was for them to have new adventures and try new things. Why couldn’t I be like that? Why wasn’t I strong enough to do the things I wanted to do? I felt useless. I felt left out.
Looking back, I don’t think I was ready for that kind of life. I didn’t feel comfortable enough with anyone to actually be myself and take a chance. My social anxiety was still ruling even the smallest aspects of my day. It dictate what I wore and every little thing I said. I’ve grown so much since then. Of course, there are still things I cannot do. But the difference is, I don’t feel like I’m missing out anymore. I know in my heart that I am doing the best I can. And that’s all that matters. Over and out my friends.